Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox

Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.com Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.com

These past few days, I have not been feeling great about myself. About my body, about my abilities as a housewife, about my mothering… you know those moments, when there isn’t anything particularly bad about life, but it still just feels off to you? I’m going through one of those moments. And I am not crying out for comments that I don’t need to lose weight or I must be a great mother or whatever… I just want to talk about it.

There are a lot of fashion bloggers who happen to be moms, but I don’t think many of them talk about life as a mom, and how it has really affected them, and the struggles and the insignificant emotional problems, and the life-after-the-birthing-story life, you know? And that’s not to say there aren’t plenty of really amazing mom-bloggers out there who just blog about mom-life (Kristen is my all-time favorite, she constantly knocks it out of the park with her honesty and posts!) , but… I feel like with fashion blogging, you constantly see the pretty side, not the emotional or tired or frustrated or insecure one.

Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.com But I’ve been having a weird phase. A phase where I feel sort of… in-between. In between figuring out routines and settling into this new and ever-changing time of life, figuring out how to balance the mom part of me with the wife part and the blogger part and the writer part. I think it’s making me feel perhaps a little bit lost; I want to give the most of myself to each part, but that just doesn’t work, so some days I give more to blogging and less to wife-and-house-and-baby-ing, and some days I don’t blog and give more time to life.

And I’m not going to lie: the days when I spend less time on the computer are, usually, the better days. The days where the house is cleaner and Asa is happier and I am more settled. The days where I spend less time waiting on internet comments and more time playing, creating, mom-ing. I have never been very diligent about keeping up the house, and I’ve always had “reasons” for why not (being pregnant, having a job, being a tired new mom, etc.) but… the last few weeks (excluding this one) I was spending very little time on the house and more time blogging, and my husband asked how I have time for the latter and not the former — not being accusatory, only rightly wondering why I wasn’t doing my job, so to say — and I didn’t have excuses. Simply put, in my own words (and not his; seriously guys, he was being as kind and gentle as he could) I was being selfish and lazy, and there’s no reason other than that.

Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.com So then I wonder… well, if these non-blogged days are better, should I give up blogging? Should I end this thing I’ve been doing for five years, and move on to another phase of life? Would it be better? Would I be better?

But I don’t want to give up blogging. It might be ridiculous to say, but thinking about quitting this blog is almost as sad to me as the time I had to give up my cat. It’s a part of who I am. A part of my creativity, a part of sharing with friends, making new friends, feeling beautiful, feeling talented, journaling life and God and family. It’s part of my hobbies, something I do that is fun, a way to relax and enjoy myself. Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.comMama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.com But I definitely need to work on priorities and schedules. Because some days, I blog and then I get distracted on  other (beautiful) blogs, and then I realize that I haven’t been spending a lot of time with Asa — who, granted, has been happily playing with his toys the entire time — and I don’t remember much of the day other than what I’ve been doing on the internet. And some days, I crave more attention from internet friends and Facebook comments than I do from my husband, which isn’t healthy.

And then, in the scheme of motherhood, I wonder if I’m really doing everything I should be doing for Asa. Sometimes I honestly don’t know what to do with him; I am new at this motherhood thing, and what sort of games does one play with a nine-month-old who is obsessed with eating hair off the floor and hasn’t quite figured out forward motion yet? I don’t have a huge imagination when it comes to playing games with him, so I sit there and just wonder… shouldn’t I be doing more?  And then I get insecure about my mothering abilities. Or rather, I wonder if they’re lazy abilities, as in, perhaps there are more games I should be playing with him, more books I should be reading, more things I should be doing to help him grow and develop.Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.comMama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.comAnd then there’s this body of mine. Look, I know I’m not horribly overweight, and I have an okay figure and all… but I don’t want to settle for “okay.” It’s a completely external thing, but I want to be happy with my body, and not just okay with it.

I’ve been eating relatively healthy, not binging on anything, avoiding the foods that affect me badly, paying attention to my eating habits, but I continue to stick at the weight that I don’t want to be at. I’m not gaining, but I’m not losing. I am continually aware of the jiggly bits that I’ve never liked. I was actually not going to share one of the photos in this post solely based on my insecurities, but my body is such a small thing in the scheme of life, and I refuse, even in insecurities, to withhold pictures that express my love for my child.

But please don’t think because of all of this that I am depressed or constantly down on myself. It’s not something I’m constantly beating myself up for, or always feeling. It’s just some moments are not as good as others. Eventually I will figure out the best ratio of all the parts of myself and where they should go in everyday life. Mama+baby style: the cat and the fox | www.eccentricowl.com

Target dress and tights | thrifted shirt (originally H&M) | thrifted belt | JC Penney boots
Asa: hat c/o Janelle’s Creations | hand-me-down overalls (Baby Gap) and shirt | gift moccasins.

It’s just a transitional time, with Asa getting more and more interactive and more in need of my full attention, with the sadness of letting breastfeeding go as he gets more independent and more interested in feeding himself a bottle rather than nursing off me, with not working now but knowing that I will be going back to my shifts soon (and partly dreading it), and feeling much more creative in the blogging/photography area but not having as much time.

And, trying to lose weight. I’ve always struggled with my weight, and for the past two years was fairly confident with who I am, although I have always wanted to lose about 20lbs. I think weight can be the roughest thing on a girl’s emotions, no matter whether she’s wanting to gain it or lose it (I know people wanting to do both!).

You guys, I’m sorry these last few posts haven’t been as happy as normal! I really am not a depressed person, but I want to always be honest here. I want to talk about things that I don’t see other fashion-moms talk about. Motherhood is a fantastic, crazy, amazing, hard thing, and if you’re feeling the same… I want you to know you’re not alone!

I have been feeling particularly encouraged, inspired, and convicted by Proverbs 31. I want to be that woman.

I hope you all have a wonderful Friday, and a very happy weekend!

And by the way, this is the LAST day to enter my cardigan giveaway, so hop to it if you haven’t already!

Signature 3
Bloglovin|Chictopia|Facebook|Twitter|Pinterest|Instagram|Fiction PressOatb etsy

 

 

The Fault in our Plaids

The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.com The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comI realize that at its core, this outfit is basically the same thing as yesterday’s outfit — you know, animal-print beigey and black shirt, plaid wool pleated skirt — but the thing is… I don’t really care. Because if we’re being honest, I’ve been awake since 5:26am, I don’t actually remember the last time I showered, we watched the last half of Lilo and Stitch before 8:30am, I’m on my third cup of coffee today, I’m wearing clashing jewelry (silver earrings, gold brooch), and I’m currently feeding my child snacks off the floor while I blog.

Mom life, you guys. At its finest. The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comThe Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comBesides which, I am really addicted to skirts like this; this is one of three I own that are practically identical aside from color scheme. I don’t know that I’ve ever worn this one, due to being pregnant last fall and winter, and I think I bought it sometime right before I knew I was pregnant.  The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comThe Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comThe Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.com Days like this are the one where I want to curl up with a book all day, uninterrupted, in fluffy pajamas with a perfect cup of coffee, and do absolutely nothing. But, you know, I have a baby to take care of and those days are pretty much gone. Not that I really mind; I love being a mother. There are just those days. Everyone has them.  The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comThe Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.com  Speaking of books, though, I currently have five in my house that I need to read in five weeks (I thought I would have six books, but no… I’m bad at counting.) This morning, despite already being 1/4 of the way into two books, I opened up The Fault in our Stars.

And since we’re already being honest in this post, I’m just going to come out and say it: I love John Green, but I already don’t like the book. And I’m not even through the first chapter. I’ll save a full review for when I finish it, because there’s every possibility that it will grow on me, but… I don’t know, you guys. The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.com It’s just so… depressed annoyed teenager. I don’t really like Hazel’s narration much. But hey, I am not and never was an annoyed-with-life, cancer-ridden teen, so I can’t really relate to that whole rebellious phase. I didn’t have one. Anyway! I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and hope that I like it by the end, but I’m just warning you, if you’re looking forward to my reviewing that book, don’t be surprised if my view isn’t adoring. The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.com The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comThe Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.comIs it just me that finds some humor in wearing a bird brooch with a cat shirt and earrings? If I had something dog or mouse, I would have worn that, too. I would have loved a good cat-and-mouse pun in my clothing, but this was the best I could do.

The Fault in our Plaids | www.eccentricowl.com

Vintage skirt | thrifted shirt, belt, and brooch | JC Penney boots | grandma’s scarf | mom-made hat | H&M earrings

And that is all my tired mom brain has for you today! Asa and I are going to cuddle, watch a Disney movie, and take a nap.(Okay, he’s going to take a nap. I’m going to read.)

Happy Tuesday!

P.S. Giveaway. Enter it.

Signature 3
Bloglovin|Chictopia|Facebook|Twitter|Pinterest|Instagram|Fiction PressOatb etsy

Filmmaking and Ladybirds

I’m going to start this post off with something different than normal, because I’m too excited about it to put this at the end:

So this is the film we made for this year’s  72 hour Gig Harbor Film Festival Competition (here’s last year’s. I’m acting. Ugh. Don’t judge me by it.), and this year I felt like we put a lot more into it than we did last year. I did, anyway: we actually went out to buy costumes and props this year; we spent a good deal more time on the makeup and all (that’s my werewolf brother, being a trooper and wearing fake nails for me), and I helped write the script, and thank GOODNESS I did not have to act this year.

But we spent a lot of time and energy on it. That was the weekend I had a breakdown over shoes because… lack of sleep. And we were SO nervous going into the theater, wondering what would happen. My husband never thinks he’ll win, so he had a lot of dour predictions. Plus, generally you can tell whether you’ve won or not by the listing in the program — if you’re near the end, there’s a good chance you made it. We were smack in the middle. So we didn’t think we’d win. Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comFilmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comAnd then they showed my cousin’s film first, and it was AMAZING, and we just thought… dude, if this is the first one they show and it’s already really awesome… there’s no way we win. This is the bar they set for the first slot, which is usually least likely to win?

Plus, when we we heard the prizes — a cash prize and an HP tablet for EACH team member (which would just be Mr. Owl and me, because… we’re industrious like that), we were like… no, we never win cool things, there’s NO way. Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comFilmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com So we sat and watched film after film and… honestly, weren’t impressed after my cousin’s film. There was one that we thought, well… maybe? They had great light, they had some funny situations, and it was a possibility, but then in the end I was mentally thinking that if they won it wouldn’t make sense. No offense to people who entered, but there were a lot of loose ends in the film and too many unanswered questions just to make one situation happen.

And don’t get me wrong, I am super impressed that SO many people put this much hard work into their films and turned out a five-minute movie in 72 hours. Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com It takes a lot. You have to write the script, shoot the film, score the film, edit the film, edit the sound, get all the costumes, get all the makeup… EVERYTHING… in 72 hours. That’s crazy. And some people had sound issues, and a lot of people did the “we have to make a film, what if we did this?” plot, but still. There were some that I’m sure will be going places in a few years, after a few competitions! Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comFilmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comBut then the end came, and after our film I didn’t see any that I honestly thought would win, and I figured my cousin had won. His was seriously good, and I wish it was online somewhere (I’m not sure if it is yet) because I wanted to link it in this post. I’m so proud of him and his team! Edit: he posted it! Here it is. Watch and be amazed.

They called all of the team leaders up to the front so that they could dispense prizes, and as they named off Best Acting, Best Editing, Best Cinematography, Best use of the Elements (line of dialogue, action, situation)… we weren’t getting anything. Part of me thought for sure we just didn’t win this year, and part of me thought… what if… we aren’t getting any of the smaller prizes because we… maybe won? Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comAnd then, suddenly, they named the winner in the Over 19 category (they separate the filmmakers into two groups– under 18 and over 19), and he flipped open the envelope that even he had not read, and announced “Suko Productions, Four is Company!”

And it was silent. It threw me off that he said Suko Productions; it’s the first year we’ve used that name instead of “Suko Films”. And my husband up front started clapping, and then realized they’d said US, and grinned up at me, and I screamed and nearly jumped out of my seat, and everyone started clapping.Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com

Guys, I was so excited that I was shaking. I never get that hyped up over anything. Well… not in this way. It was pure adrenaline. We’d worked so, so hard on the film, and personally I feel much prouder of this year’s because… I’m not embarrassed by my own acting, haha! And I’m so proud of my husband and all of his hard work and his talent. He’s amazing!

Plus, we never win anything cool, so to have won a Tablet? Um, yeah. That was kind of cool.

Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.comFilmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com So last night was a pretty amazing night. Because of this year, my husband has made a connection in the film industry via one of the judges, who has moved here from LA, and was so impressed by our film that he is going to use my husband as an editor for a short documentary — and this guy has worked on low AND high budget films. Plus, one of my husband’s friend’s… sister or something… is in the industry as a producer and has worked on some very well-known films, so hopefully this will get him noticed by her as well. Filmmaking and Ladybirds | www.eccentricowl.com

Vintage skirt | thrifted shirt (originally Forever21), brooch, and belt | Modcloth headband and wedges | Target tights

I’m still getting over the excitement! We’re planning to make more films throughout the year, and it should be really good for my husband to get into regular filmmaking, and fun for me to be in charge of costumes and makeup. Which I love!

So this is what I wore yesterday, and I have to update you all on the shoes: I wore them from 9am to somewhere after 7pm without taking them off once, walking around, going to church, going to the store, going to the festival… and I have NO pain at all. I would highly recommend them! My only caution is that because of the color and material, they mark up easily. But they wash of just as easily, so despite my marking them up on a regular basis, they are still pristine!

Anyway. I hope you are all having a good start to your Monday! Have a happy, happy day!

By the way, if you haven’t yet, don’t forget to enter the cardigan giveaway! We still need 30 more entries to qualify, and it’s open internationally so what do you have to lose?

Signature 3
Bloglovin|Chictopia|Facebook|Twitter|Pinterest|Instagram|Fiction PressOatb etsy

Little Things: Second Edition

Little Things: Second Edition | www.eccentricowl.comLittle Things: Second Edition | www.eccentricowl.com

I realize it is probably incredibly morbid to start off my loved links post with pictures of a dead owl, but uh… I found this guy in our driveway, and I was simultaneously saddened and fascinated, and as I mentioned before, I wanted to take it to a taxidermist. (We didn’t.) I thought it looked so mournfully beautiful laying there, I just had to take pictures.

Pretty Things

Awesome Things

Funny Things

Learning Things

Music Things

  • One of my friend was annoyed by this song, but now I can’t stop singing it. How do you feel about it?

Homey Things

Love Things:

I hope you all have a great weekend! Happy Saturday!

Signature 3
Bloglovin|Chictopia|Facebook|Twitter|Pinterest|Instagram|Fiction PressOatb etsy

WordPress theme: Kippis 1.15