So Jess at Animated Cardigan wrote an amazing post on why she doesn’t want to lose weight. I love that post. It is wonderful that she is confident in her size regardless of what the world thinks, and I personally think she’s absolutely beautiful. It was also a very honest post, which I really admired. It inspired me to write my own, on a complete opposite tangent.
Because I have a confession to make: I haven’t been entirely honest in the past. I may have put on a brave face, or not given full reasons for my health choices, or just plain been too afraid to offend someone, make someone feel bad for their own choices, or get discouraging comments. Weight loss is a touchy subject.
But here’s the thing: it’s not a bad thing to want to lose weight. It’s not a bad thing to love your body the way it is regardless of how much or little you weigh. It’s not a bad thing to be curvy. It’s not a bad thing to be skinny. It’s not a bad thing to want to want to change, nor is it a bad thing to want to stay the same. If you’re happy being you, good for you! If you want to change, go for it!
With that said, here are the top reasons why I want to lose twenty pounds:
One: Simply, I want to look good (or better) in clothes.
The very first reason… well, it’s probably completely and utterly vain. I could reorder the list to say it’s for health reasons, I could move that down under the next reason to make it seem less narcissistic, but we’re being honest here, and I’m really tired of my thighs making it impossible for me to wear a shift dress or a pencil skirt. I want to feel confident in a bathing suit without feeling like I should hide my jiggle in a pair of shorts or a swim-skirt. I want to wear shorts without the fabric riding up in the middle. I want to sweat in the summer without getting a heat rash because my thighs chafe. I want to pose sideways for a picture without worrying that my butt sticks out too far and my belly pooch makes me look pregnant (and please don’t protest that, you guys; I’m really good at masking my flaws with the right clothes and poses.).
Two: I want to weigh less than my husband.
Here’s the thing: my husband is naturally thin. He comes from a family of nine other people who are all pretty fit without having to do too much about it. Me, I come from a family of pudgy people, and we’re all really good at gaining weight without too much effort. So on a week-to-week basis right now, I weight about ten pounds more than my husband. And of course, as a woman, that’s kind of discouraging. But it’s also discouraging for him. Nothing reflected on me in any way, because my husband daily professes his love for my curves, but my weighing more than him makes him feel as though he’s too skinny. And I think in a guy’s mind, that translates as not manly enough, or something. I don’t know, I’m not a guy. Bottom line, it makes both of us feel bad for personal reasons.
Three: I don’t want to end up at 180+ pounds when I’m pregnant/a new mom.
We want to have kids eventually. Sooner rather than later. And I know that weight gain during pregnancy is completely normal, inevitable, and healthy. But I don’t want to go back to being 180lbs. It wasn’t a good feeling, and when I’m a new mom, getting very little sleep, and generally already probably having little time to make myself feel pretty, I don’t want to be stuck with a weight higher than the one I’m already sitting at and just feel like crap. Again, it’s a vain reason, but I think it’s a legitimate one.
Four: I want to run and not die.
This one has more to do with exercise than weight loss, and going to the gym to build up stamina. Currently, I can’t do more than three repetitions of 30 seconds of a leisurely jog- one minute of a brisk walk in a row without getting totally and completely winded. So winded that my chest feels like it’s being crushed and I get sideaches and the whole shebang. It’s not pretty. Now, my heart does beat faster than it should… and you know how this is fixed? You got it. Exercise. I’d like to be fit enough to jog for five or ten or twenty minutes and feel good. And not like death.
Five: to honor God with my choices.
This one is a reason I know many people will disagree with, or skip over entirely, and that’s okay with me. It’s my personal opinion, and I respect your right to your own beliefs. But for me, I have been more and more convicted that making unhealthy choices is… well, to be blunt… sinful. It’s lust over food I want, and greed to eat it without care, and sloth to make excuses for not moving healthfully, and gluttony to eat more than I need, and pride that I think it won’t affect me because… who knows, I’m special or something. I want to honor God with every choice I make, and that includes how I eat and how I treat my body. And hey, as a Christian this should probably be reason number one. But to keep up with honesty, this is where it falls right now. I’m a little ashamed of that, but I’m working on it.
Six: Because I want to reach my goals.
I have been trying to lose weight for at least two years, and I have yet to have enough perseverance to do it. I get lazy because it’s constant hard work. I get emotional because I want chocolate now. I get discouraged because it’s a slow process. I stop caring to keep myself from getting emotional and discouraged. But under it all, there’s still that stubbornness and that determination that one day, I am going to do it. I am going to reach my goal weight and I am going to maintain it. No more putting it off, no more getting distracted or wavering from my goals because the husband gets to eat cake and I don’t. I want to be able to say “I did it!” and triumph over my weaknesses.
I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be God-honoring. I want to feel good about my body. I want to conquer my goals.
I have already been half-writing somewhat biweekly chronicles or tidbits of how I’m doing weight or food wise, but from now on, to help me stick with it and see my own progress, I’ll be keeping an open diary of my week and posting it every Friday as a new feature (named, as you can see, Friday Fitness). Knowing that you guys know my goals and are expecting to hear how it’s going will help keep me accountable.
I feel as though I’ve been a broken record over the past, and I want to change that. I hate saying I’m going to do things and then failing.
Just so you know the stats: I currently weigh 164 pounds, with the measurements of: bust 36; waist 29; belly 37; hips 45; thigh circumference 27.
So, here’s to reaching goals, and also to stop being a broken record!
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